It's automatic, so I let it go,
It's usually very quick,
And never, ever slow,
Just an effortless little trick.

As usual, it finished every step,
Lickety-split, until the last second,
When it hung up for a moment,
Faltered for a long minute.

An hour went by,
And then another two.
The longest second,
That ever came into view.

I entered a Microsoft chat,
And talked to their AI.
I asked for a live agent,
She hung up, Bye-Bye.

I finally got through,
To a real live agent, who,
Tried everything he could,
To figure out what to do.

But asked me to go,
Where they fix Macs, too.
With his narrow tools,
Nothing he could do.

Two Apple guys helped me,
Until they also gave up,
On that last second undone,
Last bitter drop in the cup.

I checked once more,
If the update was still late,
Was told when I tried,
“Your apps are all great.”

“You are now up-to-date.”