If you go down to Spasm City,
you'll find it lively; you'll find it witty.
The girls there are so pretty,
if you're looking for romance,
they all do the St. Vitus dance.

And the guys are all brawny bare,
as they shiver and shake there,
to Parkinson's they owe their quiver,
a fine muscle tone they do deliver.

The spinal alley is dark and dirty,
but the girls there are kind of flirty.
And if you get down to the nitty-gritty,
doing the polio portfolio hurdy-gurdy.

(Refrain)

Holy smoke! Can they do the stroke!
shake and slobber all day through.
Want to dance in their shoes?
Wouldn't you want to do it, too?

So welcome to Spasm City,
where you can get pal-sie with the palsy.
You can dance your entire life away,
maybe it's me, maybe it's you, ballsy.

(Refrain)