Beware those rag head Mossy limbs,
running wild across the Middle East,
reenacting old hag Sharon's rules,
with morals like a hungry beast.

Beware those re-formed Crus-peons,
with fish bumper sticker cars.
believe he's coming to get them,
and there's alien life on mars.

Beware of those Jud-cash profits,
with all their money changing ways,
they'll manage your money for you,
while profiting even on bad days.

Beware those Shin-toe kickers,
with their utter obedience ways,
those sam-are-I geisha warriors,
with their superior auto bays.

Beware those More-mon womanizers,
who marry them more and more,
in order to have many more offspring,
until it's hard to keep score.

Beware those Bud-hist mon-key-ries,
giving alms, incense and gold.
To gild their fat boy images brightly,
while they sit around, get rich and old.

Beware those Hind-you cow lovers,
they'll sneak up behind your back.
To steal all of your veggies and nuts,
making up for all the nutrition they lack.

Beware those Com-you-must conform us,
the absolute worst religion of all.
They'll paint a picture of an ideal world,
just to prepare you for the fall.