Road Stupid and Hung Out to Dry
The other day, just after I'd entered the freeway,
As usual, giving the other guys lots of leeway.
When what did I see in my rear view mirror,
But a little white car, spinning like a gear.
I thought to myself how stupid he'd been,
For what he was going through, I hadn't a yen.
Tying up a freeway like that, but then,
What did I know?
Up ahead it was fast turning to slow.
Soon to becoming stop and go.
I was doing fine 'til the Westpark curve,
Then my van had the stupid nerve.
To stop without warning.
Right in the middle of a beautiful morning.
As the traffic backed up, all around,
I struggled and struggled to hear the sound.
Of the starter turning over,
And my engine cranking up.
But even the backup battery produced not a peep.
I was dead in the water, my van was asleep.
A woman was at my window,
And a wrecker pulled up.
I told her, "Thanks, but no thanks."
And the wrecker driver, Greg, said, "What's up?"
Man that he was, Greg took control,
"I'm going to have to tow you off, Sir,
I'm not being cruel,
It's a rush hour rule."
With his help, I got it in Neutral,
And Greg hooked me up all around.
Then, with skill and bravado,
He shut the freeway down.
It was inspiring and awesome to behold,
I was diagonaled off the freeway and being towed.
Wheelchair and all, high in my seat,
To gas station where help I'd meet.
After Greg parked me, he came to help me out,
And the damn ramp wouldn't operate, wouldn't flip out.
Greg, in emergency mode, called MetroLift and Triple A.
He told me with much certainty that he'd stay.
He got around to calling Cliff at Mobility Plus.
I overheard Cliff ask without much fuss,
"Is the van in Park?"
Am I an Aardvark?
It hit me like a bolt from above,
Without Park, that ramp won't move.
And it won't start in Drive, as a matter of fact.
Down the road to Stupid, there's no turning back.
I said my apologies, all around.
Cranked her up, and slinked out of town.
Copyright 1999 (c) Ronald W. Hull