Oh, why, oh why, did they spread the skews,
That rebates would make shoppin good news.
The lure of cash back to suck us in,
A new, low price to get under our skin.
Buyin is painless, or so it would seem,
The rush of our purchase is like a dream.
The dream turns to nightmare when we try to git,
That cash back they promised us with no sweat.
The form must be filled out in a perfect way,
Swear on your father’s grave the time and the day.
Invoice, receipt, UPC code and more,
The rebate god’s gotcha to the core.
Why can’t they just sell at a simple low price.
Not keep us so stressed like bourbon on ice.
Waitin for that check by the door,
Til hell freezes over, ain’t buying no more.
…Until next time.
Copyright 2005 © Ronald W. Hull