Cranky, cantankerous, crotchety, too,

What's a man supposed to do?

To get good news of late these days

Without these cranky, cantankerous ways.


Got out the wrong side of bed today

Slipped on a throw rug and near broke my back.

Tried to turn on the faucet to brush my teeth,

And got brown mud 'cuz the plumbing's out of whack. 


So I burnt my eggs and toast to match,

Found holes in my stockings I had to patch.

And when I tried to make my bed,

Slipped again and near broke my head.


It was pouring when I left the door,

My tires were flat from a slasher the night before.

The engine wouldn't crank 'cuz the battery was dead,

Waited in the rain for the bus instead.


The paper I picked up was yesterday's news.

A drunk passed by and threw up on my shoes.

The whole damn thing gave me such low down blues,

That I missed my stop during a depressed snooze. 


I finally got to the office,

To hear the receptionist say,

"Good Morning!  Isn't it a beautiful day!"

My answer was sardonic:  "No way, Jose!"


I left her wondering why I'd acted that way.

Calling her some strange man's name.

She hadn't a clue about my day.

Or why I played the cranky game.


Do you?


Copyright 2000 © Ronald W. Hull




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