Cranky, cantankerous, crotchety, too,
What's a man supposed to do?
To get good news of late these days
Without these cranky, cantankerous ways.
Got out the wrong side of bed today
Slipped on a throw rug and near broke my back.
Tried to turn on the faucet to brush my teeth,
And got brown mud 'cuz the plumbing's out of whack.
So I burnt my eggs and toast to match,
Found holes in my stockings I had to patch.
And when I tried to make my bed,
Slipped again and near broke my head.
It was pouring when I left the door,
My tires were flat from a slasher the night before.
The engine wouldn't crank 'cuz the battery was dead,
Waited in the rain for the bus instead.
The paper I picked up was yesterday's news.
A drunk passed by and threw up on my shoes.
The whole damn thing gave me such low down blues,
That I missed my stop during a depressed snooze.
I finally got to the office,
To hear the receptionist say,
"Good Morning! Isn't it a beautiful day!"
My answer was sardonic: "No way, Jose!"
I left her wondering why I'd acted that way.
Calling her some strange man's name.
She hadn't a clue about my day.
Or why I played the cranky game.
Copyright 2000 © Ronald W. Hull